You should definitely hire a guide the Roman poet Virgil comes highly recommended because he can bring you back out on short notice.Ĭar rental is also widely available, mostly from car rental giant Hertz. In addition, passengers on the Ahela are advised that NDE's are normal. Night and early morning trains which skip the Limbo Station are available. Please note that Roman Catholic citizens are now forbidden to board any Coast Hotlights train traveling via Limbo. In the east coast, Ahela operates high speed service from Washington DC to Hell via Boston, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and New York. From the west coast, Amtrak offers the Coast Hotlights, Operating from King Street Station in Seattle to Hell via Los Angeles and Limbo. Hell's transportation authority has partnered with the US to provide train service to and from Hell. Do not try to board the trains bound for "Glory" with your ticket to Hell violators will be persecuted. Note: these trains offer second class compartments only. While fares are often quite low, you will have to make a brief connection in Purgatory before boarding one of the hourly Intercity services to Porto Inferno Centrale. Trenitalia is currently the only national railway system to offer direct services to Hell. Hell's national airline, Con Air, currently has scheduled flights from Beijing, which depart at 1130 every Tuesday and Saturday, and return from Hell at 0900 on the same days.JetBlue offers regular one way economy-only flights to hell, albeit with a lengthy waiting period.Ryanair offer connections to Hell via The Moon St Hairy Camel Int'l Airport.(There are no stop signs or speed limits) Take the Road of Good Intentions to the Exit of Inaction. And if you do, a nice way to not have to worry about the giant handbasket you will need to figure out how to park is to go in a bamboo one that will neatly burn up on your arrival. The easiest - and oftentimes the quickest - way to get to Hell is in a handbasket. When Charon is in a good mood (which is pretty much never) you can pay in other currencies: US$0.25, Can$37.43, or €0.02. The fare is one silver obolus (1/6 of a pre-Euro Greek drachma). Charon, the ferryman, is not a pleasant fellow, but is mostly harmless. Some require a deliberate rejection of God and subsequent evil deeds, but others require only indifference, or even just a failure to faithfully execute a complex set of rites.Ī small ferry crosses the River Styx as needed. Visas are available from many major religions, with the criteria varying depending on denomination. Experts are still debating the nature of this cold snap, though anecdotal evidence suggests that it may have been caused by the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series.Ī widely used greeting is "Hell-o", and visitors are expected to learn the word (they usually do) before they go to Hell. ![]() One notable exception to this longstanding heat wave was a brief period on Octowhen Hell in fact froze over. Sounds like global warming has already affected the tourism appeal of this destination. However more recent descriptions suggest very high temperatures, with a snowball having little chance of surviving. Reputable Middle-Ages travelogue writer Dante Alighieri described it as dark and cold, and indescribably frigid at its center. Three-headed hounds roam the muddy regions of the Third Circle. A really deep pit, made up of nine concentric circles going all the way down to the center.Īlthough the vegetation is sparse in most parts of Hell, the Forest of Suicides in the Seventh Circle is a spectacular - albeit disturbing - sight, which has become a popular settlement area of late. Hell is not a member state of the UN, partially due to protest by both UN member Heaven, and protest from the Vatican. However, it's been on God's list since the Abel Incident. State Department's list of State Sponsors of Terrorism since last Tuesday. Hell has one political party: the National Socialist Party, though a top-level leadership position is being reserved for the guy who invented the half-hour "infomercial". Though an armistice was signed, Hell has nevertheless remained in a state of war with Heaven, from which it is separated by a De-Militarized Zone. ![]() Hell was created shortly after God created the Heavens and the Earth, serving as a place to banish the angel Lucifer when he rebelled against the Creator.
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